Embrace Your Inner Scumbag

1995 Dodge Viper RT/10

(This listing is from Cars & Bids.)

This Dodge Viper (the first Dodge Viper) is the result of Chrysler wanting to see what happens when you add wheels and seats to a V10 truck engine with help from Lamborghini.

It is the definition of unrepentant. It barely even counts as classic American muscle, since classic American muscle is fairly nuanced in comparison, even by modern standards where a Hellcat Pacifica doesn’t exist but isn’t exactly off the table, either.

It’s often touted as having supercar good looks, though it’s honestly aged approximately as well as its Chrysler contemporaries like the Neon (especially this one, which is missing the white on blue racing stripes).

Most didn’t have AC. This one does, though.

You also get the soft top, such as it is.

But more important than any of that, you get a whole bunch of little dings and scratches and scuffs throughout the inside and outside of the car. This…is perfect.

Because you definitely don’t want to be bidding against some mentally ill hoarder who wants a pristine Dodge Viper to mothball away in his collection of other pristine nonsense that’ll never see daylight. You want to be bidding against a handful of enthusiast scumbags of modest means and low standards who are going to coalesce around a fair price for an unparalleled driving experience.

And then, you drive it.

You drive it like a rental because it has the fit and finish of a rental. You don’t get stressed if you get some rain splatter with the top down. You don’t feel bad when there’s a high heel mark in the dash. (There’s probably already a high heel mark in the dash.)

It’s the exact example you want for a car that was built to be driven.

Be the scumbag of the moment. Then learn what “400” really means, because believe us when we say that early 90s horsepower hits different.